So.. Dear one.. You have joined the minions of the Awakened but somehow its not the happy place you thought it was? At first you may have found it was kinda scary and exhilarating. So much mental candy to thrill and aghast about. You got indignant. You felt righteous. You felt betrayed. You had a new found respect for yourself . You gained a new respect for fear and understood the newness in the emotional support now that you were part of the Awakened circle. You found strength. It carried a sense of pride when you found out not everyone, or just anyone was Awake. Your life became purposeful. You had entered into the realm of “Them”.
Being an outcast had become safe.
You could tell the most amazing stories to your family and friends! You could even feel boastful telling your new comrades how freaked out everyone got about your truth telling. You sarcastically announced they had practically disowned you, unfriended you, or said you had mental problems and were just making things up while being paranoid.
And, how good it felt to contrive fire breathing social media posts!
And, OOO the memes! Crazy time fun!
But then what? You crossed the tracks to a continuous, mind searing, emotional war and you forgot to bring your Bible. But after being engaged in the battle for a few months you thought it was probably better that you break out your childhood book The Complete Adventures of Curious George, a Read Aloud Book.
The Red Pilled Adventure of Emotions
When you start on an adventure, I have found emotions usually keep you going. And since this adventure you are experiencing is a mind adventure, your emotions keep up the interest for your mental attention like diligence and curiosity of the next information clue, dig, and find process that you are almost obsessed with in the game of discovery and exposure. What thrills! You haven’t been on an emotional roller coaster like this since your first birthday and smash cake! And you see that same kinda wildly, gleeful, vacant but bewildered look on your face too, when you look in the mirror after hours at the computer.
And you have high hopes for a great ending to this fabulous adventure that you are privy to be a part of !
But something has begun to happen to you. Its not so much fun anymore. The great happy fulfilled ending hasn't come yet. In fact you aren’t sure it will at all. You fear your efforts have been wasted and feel tricked by this “patriot” side as much as you feel trick and betrayed by the “evil” side.
That’s not FAIR. Its so much work!
Its been hopes up, hopes down, expectations up, expectations shattered, faith no matter what turned up, to faith in only bad things going on forever and NO faith in good things. You feel heavy hearted and mentally abused. You are frustrated and tired. Your attention is scattered in so many places now that its hard to make any pieces fit together. Your favorite social media friends and podcasts keep droning on, and on, having their own fun without you now. Their enthusiasm and sincerity suddenly seems distasteful. Are they fake too , you might wonder? And when one of them admonishes you on social media to be real, to have cautions, to temper expectations, you actually feel a bit hurt like you are being scolded or belittled for participating. You back off and see new things about this Awakened space. Unhappily you also begin to find this worldly disaster, this mind game, is now uninteresting, misleading, and unsatisfying. You haven’t posted anything scathingly sarcastic, or anon inspired witty or intriguing in weeks. In fact, Pepe is now just a green frog that looks like your neighbors Pug.
You feel you have been promised a lot of magic tricks but they never seem to work. You are also realizing there is no abracadabra moment that is going to fix things so you can get up in the morning and just go back to your life, albeit more informed.
So yeah, what happened?
This happened..
You got red pilled to a new level, and it kinda sucks.
Frownie Face.
Doomer is Depression
Dear “Doomer”, welcome to a form of depression. More specifically, situational depression. Its different from clinical depression.
Situational Depression
Situational depression is a short-term form of depression resulting from a traumatic event or change in a person’s life.
An adjustment disorder with a depressed mood is another name for this emotional state. ~Valencia Higuera, article here
Clinical Depression
Clinical depression is also known as major depression or a major depressive disorder. It is a more chronic condition that is severe enough to interfere with daily function. ~Valencia Higuera, article here
The form of depression I want to focus on is situational depression. You have most likely felt this emotion more than once in your life. We all have. Right now, I think it needs to be more understood in your life because its probably happening more often, in succession, without getting a chance to be discharge, transformed or healed before the next round comes along. In addition, because its successive, the situational depression lingers longer, overlapping each other at times and you are looking for ways to feel better, but not getting much understanding about that from those you share your doom with. They aren’t going to fix your world for you, and that sucks too.
Situational depression has triggers like, divorce, job loss, loved one’s death, financial hardship, illness and other emotionally straining events. I have found its also easy to get triggered with it when you feel you are let down over and over because that is certainly an emotionally straining situation. You might even feel your trust has been betrayed. In addition with this Fifth Generation type warfare, your mind is becoming numb to the discerning of what’s actual reality and what’s not. You get tired trying to figure it out.
~Valencia Higuera continues, (article here)
Situational depression stems from a difficulty in coming to terms with dramatic life changes. Recovery is possible once an individual can come to terms with a new situation. This may require support and treatment.
For instance, following the death of a parent, it may take a while before a person can accept that their parent is no longer alive. Until a person reaches acceptance, they may feel unable to move on with their life. Some people may need to attend a grief support group or speak with a therapist.
Now I like that quote above because of the word grief. To me, I feel that grief is part of “Doomer depression” because in this mind war, you have had a death of part of your life. Some, or most of your way of living may have disappeared since the covid 19 debacle and you have grief for the parts of your familiar life that allowed you to feel safe, mentally relaxed, and able to enjoy your activities. You just want your happy life back. And the more you level up in being red pilled, the more you know some parts may never come back. That realization increases with each red pill upgrade you get and it doesn’t feel comfortable or safe on an emotional level. At least not until you find acceptance about it like the quote above says. Inwardly you might actually be muttering to yourself that this whole situation should be over by now, right? And it doesn’t make you feel good to grasp that nobody knows when this war ends.
The whole situation reminds me of when I had Chronic Lyme disease. I had the neurological version. It was a daily war for survival. Every day I woke up I said , “this isn’t over ??” “ and I would reply” Nope. And there’s no cure. Have a great day, self! “ Everyday I had to dig into a new level of grit to keep going. But it paid off! After 6 years .. ta da! I won. I recovered. Completely.
Words Of Wisdom
The difference between Success and failure is not giving up.
Steven Redhead
Poems about Life
Never give up. When your heart becomes tired, just walk with your legs - but move on.
Those are powerful words, but they may not soothe you. What you may not realize is that there is almost an art to suffering, or maybe its better to say there is a process to suffering. I talked in other writings about how some people just cope easier and better than others. There are several reasons why which you can read about in this previous article. The trick to coping, though, is to learn how to manage your emotions so you don’t burn out, give up, stay confused, or attack the wrong target. I see that struggle, of you taking charge of your emotions, as primary because this is a war for those exact things - your emotions. They lead to your thoughts. Both are your mind. Your mind is the oppositions wealth.
Understand The Goal
When you are in a situational depression cycle the goal is to cope and get back to feeling like you again. Sometimes your way of coping may be something like venting and complaining. While this can be helpful especially when you have good friends to nudge you forward in your everyday little disappointments, situational depression is a deeper emotional hole than those types of small things and it can be a bit harder to climb out of . I usually find it carries a more hopeless and possibly helpless feelings with it, and some anger. I call this the grief that you feel about it. You might find complaining, venting or sharing may not be enough to relieve you. Instead you might sink in to it more. When friends offer words of support you may find the sentiments can fall flat and feel empty to you. So part of understanding your goal is to know you need to take action for how your emotions make you feel.
Understanding your goal is also understanding more about your coping skills. While coping skills are accumulated through out your life, some can get outdated for your current point in life. You also might need to learn some you haven’t learned yet. Plus, others may have been mal-adapted in the first place and you may be ready to have new coping skills replace them.
Understanding your goal is also understanding that the easiest thing to do is to put in prep work before you hit an emotional crisis. The more skilled you are at emotional coping, the easier it becomes to get to the point of “accepting the accepting” of a situation without getting stuck in situational depression. You understand that suffering happens, its upsetting, its hard to deal with, its a lot of unpleasant feelings, it can change your life, and you really cant run away from how you feel. However you a you can still have a life that you enjoy!
Let’s Start Here To Change Things
An Ounce of Prevention Is Worth A Pound Of Cure.
I used to have a book that gave the origin of phrases. One thing I learned from it was that many of them were based on our ancestors life’s lessons. Like shortcuts of wisdom that were easily carried in your store of knowledge with a phrase or two. And as you may know yourself, some are just pure truth, like the saying above. An ounce of prevention about your emotional health means you need to put some effort into your emotional health. The pound of cure part, well, lets just say it means the upfront work you do will shortcut you getting back to feeling good in life.
Building good emotional habits takes practice. You also need to practice using new emotional habits before you get triggered , so you know how to use the tools when you are triggered. Your mind gets skilled at responding to your coping tools and you have time to figure out the best ones for you, reducing pressure to perform under crisis.
Yoga and meditation practices are a perfect fit for strengthening your mastery for having a healthy mind and emotional connection along with an understanding of how to navigate emotional trauma big or small. These methods are a soothing and compassionate companion to the natural processes of the nervous system that control emotional awareness, mental focus and personal insight. When you get skilled at their offerings, you are no longer left helpless in the mental chatter, chaos, contradictions, emotional bruises and confusion of every day life as well as modern mind wars.
Your nervous system is constantly watching and interpreting you, taking cues from your body, from your thoughts and feelings. With yoga and meditation you communicate to it through the mind, body and breath integration that the nervous system understands so you can condition it to how you want it to respond for you. You become your best coach. Practicing mindful methods makes you a skilled self coach!
Lets Start Here To Create Things
To prepare you for a life of good emotional health, making time for a daily mindful practice can condition you easily. Its not earth shattering information and you probably heard that before. The hard part is doing it regularly enough to have it become a habit and a normal part of your day and life. The other hard part is doing it until you have integrated mindfulness as a new habit when you are under emotional pressure. So start in an easy way. In yoga we call it setting an intention. Set an intention to start a mindful practice. There are many ways to do this which I will continue to write about in other articles. Right now I want to introduce you to a meditations with movement. This is great for starting a practice or using if you are currently feeling stuck in situational depression.
Begin here:
This is very simple mindful process to start rewiring your response to situational depression. I like to keep things easy when you are emotionally suffering because complicated things can make it harder for you engage with them. This practice can also strengthen your attitude toward resolve and diffuse helpless feelings.
First, pick a space that will serve your purpose. It should be a quiet place without interruptions.
Pick a day and time to start. If you are new to this, schedule just one day a week. Keep it easy. Habits can be hard to change or learn. Get used to the process first then start adding days until you are practicing every day. Its the daily, consecutive practice that achieves results and changes in the nervous system.
Be sure to schedule your mindful day on your calendar like you would any special event . This helps you start taking action on your intention.
When the day and time arrive, get into your quiet space. Do two or three simple stretches - whatever comes to mind is good, and sit down . Put your phone on silent without vibration. Your intention is to be here for 8 minutes. You can set a timer if you like but make sure it has a soft sounding alarm so you are not jolted by the sound when your time is up.
As you sit there, notice your breath. Hear its sound and how it feels in your body. You can close your eyes if you like. Notice how you feel. There is no special way to feel, no right or wrong thing to feel. Let the moment unfold as you passively are aware. If your mind wanders, and it will, keep bringing your mind back to your breath again, and again.
Make your inhale and exhale the same length. You can do that intuitively or count the length of each and match them up. You can finish out your time doing this much or
Begin adding in arm movement for the last 1-2 minutes. You might like to reset your alarm. Instead of the equal ratio breath in #6 your breath with be quicker and in time with your arm swing now. When you inhale, swing your arms out and up like wings to touch your hands together overhead or swing to wherever up is for you. On the exhale swing them out and down by your hips, touching the floor or whatever you are sitting on. The importance of this part is to synchronize your breath to the arm movement in a quick fashion. You can rest your arms with hands on your lap anytime you need to and just continue the breathing practice. Don’t strain to do this exercise! Don’t overdo the arms in this exercise! Start with 1 minute and work up to 2 over time.
When your timer goes off, if you are doing the arm exercise, sit for 1 minute and breath quietly before you get up and go back to your day.
CONGRATULATIONS! YOU JUST COMPLETED YOUR FIRST RESET MEDITATION!
Until next time..
Hugs, laughter, and an Undivided Life.
Mariangela
…and take one of these as you go…
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Look for the video of this reset meditation coming soon!
Disclaimer: Yoga therapy does NOT take the place of medical treatments or replace doctors. However, Yoga therapy can work right along with conventional and integrative doctor methods because it targets the healing they usually leave unattended.